Shamsiah: A Rose By Any Other Is Still A Rose.....

I wrote this several years ago and was sent to Bapak. I felt it was a very personal thing and was not ready to share although Bapak had coaxed me into sending this to be published in a daily. Bapak had always encoraged me to write. We shared the joys of writing. Someone commented that we have the same style. Nothing can compare with my Sifu's, namely Bapa.

Dear Bapak, I have finally decided that the write up about Mak is to be shared. I finally found my courage....out of the love of writing and out of the love for you.

To my dearest Mak....this is what you are and this is what you have taught all us , your children to be


Al Fatihah to both Mak and Bapak

****************
Mak,Tah, Encik, Che Tah, Kak Tah, Mak Tah, Mak Chor, Mak Chik ,Kak Shamsiah, Kak Sham, Mak Tok, Datin Sham, Datin, Datin Seri , Pah Tah and Pah Datin .

These are all the names that refer to our beloved Mak. These names also refer to different roles that she played. Not even once she was confused by the roles that she played. The grace she potrayed while assuming these roles was beyond my understanding.

Mak was `Encik’ to her only sister, Chu Nandak. Nothing much can be heard from Chu. She ia a lady of few words but from her eyes and her body language she has nothing but admiration for her elder sister. Although they coming from the same `mould’ they are like `chalk and cheese’ in every other sense. Probably Mak was groomed by her grandmother Hajjah Ensah whom I understand was a very hard to please lady when it comes to `upbringing.

She was also known as `Che Tah’ to her in-laws, Bapa’s sibling. They are very much like her flesh and blood. This was probably because she knew them from before. She has never quarreled with any of them. She never succumbed to their follies. Being non committal to their bickering when any of them reported or confided, she always kept her cool and was very philosophical about everything. “Bior le” would be the most response.

` To her cousins she was known as Yong’. Of all the cousins she had, Pak We was the closest. Pak We had stayed with us for a long time. Every body called her male cousin Pak We. She was duly worried when Pak We became ill and lost his sight. . They looked up to each other so much. Mak was the elder sister that Pak We never had, and Pak We was the jovial, funny and younger brother Mak wished she had. . Pak We was already frail and in spite of not being able to see he insisted that he accompanied Mak’s cortege. One could sense the respect Pak We had for Mak

To her husband’s nieces and nephews even to their second cousins `Mak Tah’. Favoritism had never been in her vocabulary and practice….. `Mak Tah tu rasa mak saudara sendiri’ said a female cousin…Why not? She goes all the way and at length to make sure that the nephews and nieces shall adorn the best on their wedding day. She took the trouble to retrieve her jewellery from the bank for that purpose. Her crockery will spread the bridal banquet, the `semerit’ for the display of hantaran, carpets to brighten up the wedding dais, platform and other wedding paraphernalia was for all to be made available to these nieces…to her it was meant to be shared. The groom or the bride should never be devoid of being made the `the queen or king of the day’ At weddings her opinion was often sought and consulted. Her words confirmed decisions. Never once she bragged or `ungkit’ about borrowing hers. . One can always tell another’s’ sincerity and Mak’s sincerity was deeply felt.

`Mak Chor’ Even though she was not as expressive, she showered her love to her own nieces and nephews. After settling down back at Kampung Buaia, Atikah became her doted one. After every trip from somewhere there will always be some `buah tangan ‘for Atikah. Atikah was her youngest grand neice

Mak Cik was to those who have no blood ties. Kak Yah was nine when she first stayed with us and way before I was born. She was very much like our own sister even though Teh, Kak Yah’s mother was Mak’s helper. When I was much younger I envied Kak Yah because she got to go wherever Mak went. When she had some problems, it was Mak that Kak Yah turned to. Mak groomed her, taught her so many things. Kak Yahs wedding was `Wedding of the Year in `Kuala Selangor’ One could see the strong bond between them, it was like sister and sister and at times it was like mother and child. Mak could do both… the interplay of roles. Arwah Teh once told Mak….”Yah tu… macang Cik Sangsiah” What was that that Teh meant?

Kak Tah it was to Kak Nah and Abang Ramli. They were small traders who sold daily provisions from their van. When they got back to Semenanjung they had a `gerai’ at Pasir Putih. It was a shack really. From time to time Mak would visit them and bought goodies and clothes for the children. For countless Hari Raya the whole family moved to our house. Mak gave a room close to the kitchen. She took pity on Kak Nah’s six children. She said they deserve a decent place to stay especially during festive occasion like Hari Raya. They had a fat son whom Mak lovingly called `Endut’. The only person who could call him by that` degerotory term’ was Mak. The term by Mak was to him meant an endearment. Even a child warms up to Mak knowing that that was no malice on Mak’s part

Whenever `pacri terong’ became the menu of day, a portion of the dish was sent to Kak Rose and Abang Nazim’s house (Datin Rose and Dato Nazim) Abang Nazim never forget to praise Mak’s pajri. So much was Mak thoughtfulness of others. She served from her heart.

Datin Sham as she was known to the wives of Rotarians and other wives of her own stature. Rotarians love to come for the committee meeting held at our house because she would not have her food catered. She just would not have it done that way and instead would cook herself….of course she had a stable of assistants. Dato’ Sharma and Datin are Brahmin and they are Vegans. Mak would make sure that there was a vegetarian dish on the table for both of them though they brought their own. Sometimes a so called `educated’ person is not as sensitive to the needs of other religion. Unlike Mak.

Siva was Bapa’s driver and he called Mak , Datin. Thiru was Mak’s domestic helper and she calls Mak, Auntie. How many `Mems’ would want to eat with a helper. Seeing both Thiru and Mak sharing the same food and talking to each other at same dining table, makes one humble. Thiru of course was rattling away. Every year be it the 3rd or the 4th night of Hari Raya , Mak will have a special invitation to Siva’s family and Thiru’s family and her sister’s as well. They were not employees on that day but very special guests of Dato Seri Yang Rashdi. Mak saw to it as an appreciation of their service and also as being a part of our `big’ family. Mak , she was blind to kind and creed.

One can go on telling what a fine person she was. She knew when she was just Mak Tah or, Mak Cik or when she was Datin. She was a person who was at ease with herself, unassuming, not conscious that she is a Datin twice over and Mak Tok as she was referred to at the istana. She carried herself well and with decorum, played her role to the fullest. It was her big heart and a heart of gold that made her stood out anytime and anywhere.


Like a rose you can call her by any other name but a rose would smell as sweet…. That’s my Mother.

The letter I promise to write

Dear Bapa,

The last time I posted an email to you was the very day you were admitted to Hospital Tuanku Bainun ( Hospital Ipoh) You never got to read the letter.

In my last paragraph, I said that I will write to you soon.

Bapa, I always get excited when there is an activity or any news that is related to you. You always respond immediately. You never cease to say that you are proud of me. I thank you for your concern and appreciation.

I mentioned to you earlier that , I have granted a permission to start an Interact Club at Kolej Yayasan Saad. You responded by forwarding somes news about an Interact Club in Ipoh.

We had our first Installation Night last Friday. The District Governor himself came. Dato Abdul Latif Saruggi. There is one Mr Vohrah from a family of distinguished lawyers. Mr Arumugam from President of Roratry Club of Malacca, the sponsoring club.

In my speech I said, " when a proposal letter was sent in for the approval of starting of an Interact Club, I need not look into it further because for the past 40 years of my life I have been directly involved with Rotarians, Rotary Anns, Innerwheelers and Interactors." There was a spontaneous applause by the audience. There was some pride when I mentioned that.

Before the District Governor proceeded in his speech, he requested the audience to stand up and observe a minute of silence and also to recite `Al Fatihah'. It was a very touching moment for me. I was almost in tears. The words of praise they have for you, makes me very proud to be your daughter.

I am very sure had you been here then, you would have attended our First Installation. I would have invited you to give a talk on the organisation, the very person to give words of encouragement to my intelligent students.

Alas, it was not to be. You had wanted to come and stay with me for a short spell here at Kolej yayasan Saad. You said that you would come when you are slightly better. I had looked forward to it.

Bapa, this is the `soon' letter that I promised to write. I hope this is also not the last one to you. I shall miss your responses to my mails.

love always

Nun

He has always said 'once a scouts always a scouts'

1937 - 1942 Ahli Pengakap Kumpulan Kolej Melayu Kuala Kangsar

1949 - 1956 Pemimpin Pengakap Kumpulan Sekolah Sultan Sulaiman, KTrengganu

1956 - 1961 Pesuruhjaya Pengakap Daerah

1961 - 1967 Setiausaha Kehormat, Persekutuan Pengakap Malaysia

1969 - 1973 Pesuruhjaya Wilayah, Malaysia Timur (Sabah, Sarawak)

1961 Ahli Majlis Persekutuan Pengakap Malaysia

1989-2001 Ketua Pesuruhjaya Pengakap Negara (National Chief Commissioner)

Dato' Seri (Bapak) wrote an Eulogy for Datin Seri Shamsiah (Mak)....dated 20 Jul 2003

An “Eulogy” on your Opah

Your Opah passed away peacefully last Tuesday 1st July 2003. Her demise was a surprise to me and to many others far and near. She had not shown that she was very sick. She just had a little “womanly” problem and was going to have a little operation on it , to be exact 1st July, in the General Hospital in Taiping. She was all pepared to go to Taiping that morning and after taking her bath and was about to dress herself up she complained of feeling tired. Your Wan Yah, our housemaid, advised your Opah to lie down to rest. She did and during these last two or three minutes of resting your Opah just left us for good. It was that simple. Allah must have loved her and taken her away that peacefully with just a few of us around her i.e Ki, Yang Lan (Ki’s son), Ijan (Ki’s grandaughter) both of whom were back home for that week-end , Wan Yah, and our family friend Pah Endit.

Your Opah was born in this very kampong where your Pak Chu Haji Rahman and Chu Nandak's house is to-day. She went to the Sekolah Melayu Perempuan then in Kampong Lalang. Imagine your Opah had to walk all that distance to school in those days. In those days young girls and anak dara riding a bicycle was taboo! Your Opah only passed her Standard Six in the Malay School and after school she settled down in her kampong and attended her Arabic and religious classes at the Madarasah Falahiah, at this Kampong Buaia. It is not known how good Opah was as a student at the religious and Arabic classes but it is well-known today that your Opah read the Quran well and was considered the “champion quran reader” of this kampong and its surrounding. Being a local boy Ki remembered that your Opah was invited to many Khenduri Perkahwinan in this Kampong Buaia and outside Kampong Buaia.

Ki married Opah when Opah was only 16 years old. It was an arranged marriage between your Opah and Ki by our two families. Both the families were already interrelated. We got married on 7th April,1947 (56 years ago!). Over our marriage of 56 years we have 6 children, 4 girls and 2 boys all married except Ki's son Che Om (Shahrome} who is not yet but will be soon. We have 9 grand-children 3 grandsons and 6 grand-daughters.

When Ki married your Opah she was a truly kampong girl being born and bred in this kampong. Her grandmother (my Pah Tah) was a kampong disciplinarian in the fashion of olden days- no contact with boys, no very outlandish activities in social lives, was brainwashed thoroughly about sopan santun , about housekeeping. Cooking was a must. At the age of 16 your Opah was almost very matured.

In the first year of our marriage I took her with me to Kuala Trengganu where I became an English School teacher at the Sultan Sulaiman English Secondary School. We lived in Kuala Treangganu for almost 9 years. To-day I still consider it as my second home and we still consider many people around the kampongs as our own relatives especially your Opah who was loved by all. She was a very simple girl. Everybody knew her as Cik Sang! (Trengganu slang!)

After 9 years in Kuala Terengganu I was still moving around in the country being an officer in the top government civil service in Selangor, in Negeri Sembilan, in Melaka, in Sabah and in Perak itself as a senior government officer. I have served as the District Officer in Kuala Selangor and once again as a District Officer in Taiping. My final office was as the Perak State Director of Lands and Mines.

All these years your Opah was with me. As the years moved on your Opah also moved with time. When I became a more senior officer with high position your Opah did not change her outlook in her life.. She was still as simple as she ever was - ”tak sombong, tak mengada” For many years as time went on I was quite involved in a number of voluntary organizations especially in the Persekutuan Pengakap Malaysia and in Rotary International both of which took me to quite a higher status than many. As a government officer and in these voluntary organization your Opah and I have travelled a bit around the world. Together we have been to the United States of America, the United Kingdom (England,Wales ans Scotland), to Europe covering Holland, Belgium, France, Switzerland and Germany. We have been to Mekah twice. In Souteast Asia we have been to Indonesia (Java), Thailand, Japan,, Korea, and to Taiwan. We have also been to Australia.

It surprised me that your Opah took up all these new experiences very ordinarily meaning just being herself! At social functions abroad or at home in Malaysia your Opah has been seated at VIP high-tables and many times with royalty . At suh occasions your Opah was always as cool as a cucunber in the midst of such high personalities. She did not speak English very well, only a smattering of the language but that did not deter her. If she could she would answer simply but somehow I could see that they “were talking away warmly”. May be the other party could not speak English herself or himself as well!!

Your Opah has set herself a certain standard when being addressed At a higher level your Opah would always be the first to start a small conversation herself to break the ice. Among her relatives, her friends, her acquaintances and such people your Opah address herself as Che Tah, Mak Tah, Kak Tah . At times she addressed herself as Tah to older people She did not bother herself if people do not address her as Datin or Datin Seri, even in the Istana , except in a very protocolled occasion!

As far as I remember your Opah never failed her solat even if she was sick to even the last one or two days before she died last week. She also never missed to read the Surah Yassin every Malam Jumaat.

I feel that your Opah was a good wife to me and a good mother to her children
Let us say a little Doa to your Opah. We will always remember her – seorang anak kampong yang disayangi ramai. To Ki, Ki berdoa Allah SWT akan memelihara Opah dengan kasih sayang dalam peliharaaNYA

Termaktub di Kampong Buaia
20 Julai,2003

Dato' Seri Yang Rashdi's last article (Excerpt from Ipoh Echo Issue 55)

- Gentle Last Words -

Raja Azlan Shah, the Sultan of Perak. His hospital visit,
according to the late Dato Seri Yang Rashdi, was “the greatest gift of all” .

Yang Rashdi's last piece for Ipoh Echo relates his joy at seeing his friends and the royal couple who came visiting when he was in hospital. (Written on June 21, 2008) Read more…

I am now back home after two weeks at the Pantai Puteri Medical Centre, Ipoh. I am not fully recovered yet – it may take another month or so for me to be my normal self again. But I am such a restless person and have to be at my computer and try to write again.

I want to thank the dear friends from the Kelab Bakti Gunung Keledang who visited me in hospital. Tan Sri Azizuddin came when I was in a very critical condition. I could barely say a word and had to say sorry by sign language from afar. Then the others … Dato’ Syed Azman and Datin, Dato’ Ahmad Ismail, Dr Ameen, the Club Secretary, Haris and his family, my great friend Mohamad Hamzah who, together with Razali, our artist, brought a very valuable gift on behalf of the Club – a robotic hospital bed. (I heard it cost the Club a bomb). But I feel that I will not be bed-ridden for long. Insya Allah (God's willing).

The greatest gift of all was the surprise visit of our beloved Sultan, Raja Azlan Shah and Raja Perempuan, Tuanku Bainun.

One quiet afternoon, Tuanku trotted in, affecting a cheerful tone, in jest, asking, “Hey, what are you doing here?” The two doctors present briefed the Sultan. My chat with the royal couple lasted about 40 minutes. The Sultan queried about my age and compared it with our Tun Bendahara's age. Of course, Tun is about four or five years my senior, I am just turning 83. He then asked me about my College contemporaries. I rattled off a few names. He then added a few more to see how I would respond.

We rambled on about other matters like my sporting days. I gladly told him that I too was a hockey player like him. Perhaps, wanting to test me, he asked what position I played. I said, readily, ‘right wing’. I even added, rather cheekily (I realise this now) that I was quite a nippy player. He asked, “apa lagi cerita?” So I talked about my involvement in the scouting movement. The Sultan was a patrol leader during his school days.

He enquired about my leisure time. I told him of the support I give my daughter, Ju, who works to alleviate the problems of single mothers in Kampong Buaia. Ju, who was there during the visit was very articulate in her discourse with the royal couple.

I informed the Sultan that my family had started our own agro-project, planting lemon grass on the land around my house. When I told him that it was only five acres, the Sultan exclaimed that it was big. He asked again, “apa lagi cerita?” I remembered the Ipoh Echo.

I told him one of my articles was published in Ipoh Echo Issue 47. It was a story about me and my brothers when we were kids growing up in the kampung. Tuanku prodded me to carry on writing.

My four children, Ida, Lahn, Ju and Shima smartly dressed in baju kurong and samping, were on hand to provide me support whenever I faltered.
Ida and Ju attended to Tuanku Bainun who was very sweet and friendly. Shima was awed by Tuanku’s charm and became speechless.

Ya-Ya, Ida’s teenage daughter, was assigned to take photos but lost her composure. Let us say she got a bad attack of stage fright – so there went my treasure trove of pictures.
Raja Azlan told my kids never to leave their father all by himself. They nodded in agreement. Ida walked them to the staff car which was parked under the hospital porch below.
What a day it was! Thank you, Tuanku!

Dato Seri Rashdi requested his daughter to forward the above article to the Ipoh Echo. He died on July 3. See our tribute, IE Issue 54

Datuk Suleiman/Abang Man's Birthday Greetings came a little too late, 1 day late! - (Click on the page for bigger image)

Continue Datuk Suleiman/Abang Man's Letter

A Moving Poem

(Datuk Suleiman/Abang Man's birthday greetings dated 3 July 08 that comes with a very moving poem by an anynomous poet....coincidently on the day he passed away....).

Beautitudes for Friends of the Aged

Blessed are they who understand my
faltering step and palsied hand

Blessed are they who know that my ears today
must strain to catch the things they say

Blessed are they who seem to know that my eyes
are dim and my wits are slow.

Blessed are they who looked away when coffee
spilled at the table today

Blessed are they with cheery smile who
stop to chat for a little while

Blessed are they who never say "You've
told that story twice today"

Blessed are they who know the ways to
bring back memories of yesterdays.

Blessed are they who make it known that
I'm loved, respected, and not alone.

Blessed are they who know I'm at a loss
to find the strength to carry the torch.

Blessed are those who ease the days on my
journey home in loving ways.

Dear Da......

Letter to Da... from Bapak
(bapak praises how good Da's cooking is, and its just as good as mak's!!)
Written on July 1th, 2005

Dear Da,

During the few days you took me under your care I know you did so with a daughter's sincere good heart for the love for a father! Many a time when you were around I cried in my heart to think that it had been a long time since I have had your Mak's touches at cooking with (sambal and all that!) and doing up the house as you did the other day. I appreciate you and the others that you organised yourself that while the others took a turn for a few days to rest elsewhere one or two of you would stay back to take care of me ( just in case………! ) What other families would do such a thing to take care of their parents they way you all did?

As a stubborn person that I am I would want to say that there was no need for you all to go that far. After all I am only 80!! Although it was a matter of a few days you honestly did overfeed me. I know my weight has increased by some few GRAMS these last few days!............

I will remember this one instance for a long long time that night when I was just going into slumberland in my room and the light was just being switched off when I saw two shadowy figures peeping into the bed , my bed, possibly the figures were giving it the the last peep for the night before the figures themselves went into their dream-land knowing that I was already safe and sound to retire for the day; and the next day you were already going home yourself! ( I thought you were leaving that very early the next morning!) .

To-day (15th July) is about to be normal again . As you remember Lahn came back from Sarawak with fever and was in bed for two days and did not move very much (and is still feverish to-day!). Ju seems alright and is setting herself right into the house-chores. She said she enjoyed the trip to Sarawak. Ohm and Shima said they would be coming back to the villa to-day (Saturday) although it is already noon-time as I jotted this letter!!

The work at the outside kitchen-sink is not over yet. They are still doing the final touches on the job. Hashim has to buy another dozen of the tiles from KK. The earlier portion bought with Yaya is somewhat insufficient. From my own assessment of the work it is extremely fine. The work got a little longer to enable the plastering of the cement to properly dried up. Some of the neigbouring folks (Chu Nandak, Latt, Ani and the others think the “outside" sink looks more stylish and presentable than the one inside. Now they are suggesting that the entire outside luar dapor be tidied up as good as the new sink. I thought that it was a good idea but told them the Towkeh must be agreeable with it . We will wait for her to come back to agree or not.

Ju has not brought our new car back yet. It is still under “process” so it seems! I am sending Ju back to Kuala Lumpur next week to settle the problem. It has been a hell of a problem for me without a transportation. I have been holed up in this situation for many days now. Anyway, I hope by next week things will brighten up for all of us.

Love to you all.
From Bapak