Shamsiah: A Rose By Any Other Is Still A Rose.....

I wrote this several years ago and was sent to Bapak. I felt it was a very personal thing and was not ready to share although Bapak had coaxed me into sending this to be published in a daily. Bapak had always encoraged me to write. We shared the joys of writing. Someone commented that we have the same style. Nothing can compare with my Sifu's, namely Bapa.

Dear Bapak, I have finally decided that the write up about Mak is to be shared. I finally found my courage....out of the love of writing and out of the love for you.

To my dearest Mak....this is what you are and this is what you have taught all us , your children to be


Al Fatihah to both Mak and Bapak

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Mak,Tah, Encik, Che Tah, Kak Tah, Mak Tah, Mak Chor, Mak Chik ,Kak Shamsiah, Kak Sham, Mak Tok, Datin Sham, Datin, Datin Seri , Pah Tah and Pah Datin .

These are all the names that refer to our beloved Mak. These names also refer to different roles that she played. Not even once she was confused by the roles that she played. The grace she potrayed while assuming these roles was beyond my understanding.

Mak was `Encik’ to her only sister, Chu Nandak. Nothing much can be heard from Chu. She ia a lady of few words but from her eyes and her body language she has nothing but admiration for her elder sister. Although they coming from the same `mould’ they are like `chalk and cheese’ in every other sense. Probably Mak was groomed by her grandmother Hajjah Ensah whom I understand was a very hard to please lady when it comes to `upbringing.

She was also known as `Che Tah’ to her in-laws, Bapa’s sibling. They are very much like her flesh and blood. This was probably because she knew them from before. She has never quarreled with any of them. She never succumbed to their follies. Being non committal to their bickering when any of them reported or confided, she always kept her cool and was very philosophical about everything. “Bior le” would be the most response.

` To her cousins she was known as Yong’. Of all the cousins she had, Pak We was the closest. Pak We had stayed with us for a long time. Every body called her male cousin Pak We. She was duly worried when Pak We became ill and lost his sight. . They looked up to each other so much. Mak was the elder sister that Pak We never had, and Pak We was the jovial, funny and younger brother Mak wished she had. . Pak We was already frail and in spite of not being able to see he insisted that he accompanied Mak’s cortege. One could sense the respect Pak We had for Mak

To her husband’s nieces and nephews even to their second cousins `Mak Tah’. Favoritism had never been in her vocabulary and practice….. `Mak Tah tu rasa mak saudara sendiri’ said a female cousin…Why not? She goes all the way and at length to make sure that the nephews and nieces shall adorn the best on their wedding day. She took the trouble to retrieve her jewellery from the bank for that purpose. Her crockery will spread the bridal banquet, the `semerit’ for the display of hantaran, carpets to brighten up the wedding dais, platform and other wedding paraphernalia was for all to be made available to these nieces…to her it was meant to be shared. The groom or the bride should never be devoid of being made the `the queen or king of the day’ At weddings her opinion was often sought and consulted. Her words confirmed decisions. Never once she bragged or `ungkit’ about borrowing hers. . One can always tell another’s’ sincerity and Mak’s sincerity was deeply felt.

`Mak Chor’ Even though she was not as expressive, she showered her love to her own nieces and nephews. After settling down back at Kampung Buaia, Atikah became her doted one. After every trip from somewhere there will always be some `buah tangan ‘for Atikah. Atikah was her youngest grand neice

Mak Cik was to those who have no blood ties. Kak Yah was nine when she first stayed with us and way before I was born. She was very much like our own sister even though Teh, Kak Yah’s mother was Mak’s helper. When I was much younger I envied Kak Yah because she got to go wherever Mak went. When she had some problems, it was Mak that Kak Yah turned to. Mak groomed her, taught her so many things. Kak Yahs wedding was `Wedding of the Year in `Kuala Selangor’ One could see the strong bond between them, it was like sister and sister and at times it was like mother and child. Mak could do both… the interplay of roles. Arwah Teh once told Mak….”Yah tu… macang Cik Sangsiah” What was that that Teh meant?

Kak Tah it was to Kak Nah and Abang Ramli. They were small traders who sold daily provisions from their van. When they got back to Semenanjung they had a `gerai’ at Pasir Putih. It was a shack really. From time to time Mak would visit them and bought goodies and clothes for the children. For countless Hari Raya the whole family moved to our house. Mak gave a room close to the kitchen. She took pity on Kak Nah’s six children. She said they deserve a decent place to stay especially during festive occasion like Hari Raya. They had a fat son whom Mak lovingly called `Endut’. The only person who could call him by that` degerotory term’ was Mak. The term by Mak was to him meant an endearment. Even a child warms up to Mak knowing that that was no malice on Mak’s part

Whenever `pacri terong’ became the menu of day, a portion of the dish was sent to Kak Rose and Abang Nazim’s house (Datin Rose and Dato Nazim) Abang Nazim never forget to praise Mak’s pajri. So much was Mak thoughtfulness of others. She served from her heart.

Datin Sham as she was known to the wives of Rotarians and other wives of her own stature. Rotarians love to come for the committee meeting held at our house because she would not have her food catered. She just would not have it done that way and instead would cook herself….of course she had a stable of assistants. Dato’ Sharma and Datin are Brahmin and they are Vegans. Mak would make sure that there was a vegetarian dish on the table for both of them though they brought their own. Sometimes a so called `educated’ person is not as sensitive to the needs of other religion. Unlike Mak.

Siva was Bapa’s driver and he called Mak , Datin. Thiru was Mak’s domestic helper and she calls Mak, Auntie. How many `Mems’ would want to eat with a helper. Seeing both Thiru and Mak sharing the same food and talking to each other at same dining table, makes one humble. Thiru of course was rattling away. Every year be it the 3rd or the 4th night of Hari Raya , Mak will have a special invitation to Siva’s family and Thiru’s family and her sister’s as well. They were not employees on that day but very special guests of Dato Seri Yang Rashdi. Mak saw to it as an appreciation of their service and also as being a part of our `big’ family. Mak , she was blind to kind and creed.

One can go on telling what a fine person she was. She knew when she was just Mak Tah or, Mak Cik or when she was Datin. She was a person who was at ease with herself, unassuming, not conscious that she is a Datin twice over and Mak Tok as she was referred to at the istana. She carried herself well and with decorum, played her role to the fullest. It was her big heart and a heart of gold that made her stood out anytime and anywhere.


Like a rose you can call her by any other name but a rose would smell as sweet…. That’s my Mother.